Three Things to do When a Loved One Walks out of Your Life

Jenni sat in her room on Christmas Eve, crying. Tomorrow would be the first Christmas without her older sister being there. Earlier in the year, she had a spat with their parents and declared that she would never come back to their house.

It had been six long months with no word from her. No texts. No calls. Blocked on all social media. Silence. Complete silence.

Have you ever been in this situation? Are you currently?

The Pain is Deep

I am no stranger to this situation. A loved one or family member walking out of your life is incredibly painful. A flood of thoughts fill your mind. Sometimes you feel sad, sometimes angry. Sometimes you just feel despondent.

You play scenarios out in your head of what you could have done differently. You think about all the steps that led to the blow up. You wonder if they’ll ever come back. You consider if they ever think about or miss you at all.

If you find yourself in this situation, I just wanted to share some advice today that I have learned, received, or picked up along this journey.

You have to FORGIVE them

Forgiveness is hard. I think that’s part of the reason Jesus discussed it so much in the Bible and even put it in the Lord’s Prayer. He knew it was a regular part of the human life.

In this situation, you have to pray to God and tell him that you forgive this person for all the pain they are causing. If you don’t, you harbor it, and it will turn to bitterness and eventually CONSUME you.

How does it consume you? It starts by you constantly thinking about it. Then, if you still have access to their social media accounts, you begin to stalk them (which makes you mad all over again). You may even write vague posts on your social media accounts about the situation or tell anyone who will listen about it.

They are out there “living their best life” and in many cases, they aren’t thinking about you. All you do is keep yourself in a state of unrest and it affects YOUR life, not THEIRS.

Never stop praying for your loved one

God is the only one who can change a heart. He’s the only one who can open someone’s eyes to the damage they caused and spur them on to seek forgiveness and restoration.

Sometimes, people pray for years. Sometimes, loved ones reject the prompting of the Holy Spirit and never seek reconciliation. However, we should stay fervent in our praying. God hears us and it is in his mighty hands.

As a side note: The story of the Prodigal Son gives me much hope in this situation. It lets me know that if it is God’s will, people do come back and a relationship can be restored. You can read the story here if you’re not familiar with it.

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Let them know your door is still open

Depending on your situation, this may or may not be a possibility. However, if you have any means of contact, let them know from time to time that you haven’t walked out on them.

Here are a few examples:

If you usually send Christmas cards to people, send them one
Send them a card or text on their birthday
If you have an older sibling and you are on a sports team, text them and ask them to come to a game. Just don’t be disappointed if they don’t show up.

Do not overdo it, but some contact a few times a year will let them know you have not shut the door on them.

In Closing

I understand that this topic is not something I can neatly tie a bow on. Every situation is different. However, I hope that you found some hope in this post. Never stop praying for your loved one. Forgive.

Remember that ultimately it is in God’s hands. If you stumbled upon this post and you’re in this situation, my prayers are with you. (((hugs)))

Until next time,

-Sarah

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