In the last post, I discussed three signs that a friend may be going down a destructive path or is making negative life choices.
To follow that up, I wanted to discuss a caring way you can talk to your friend to try and figure out what is going on.
True friends look out for each other. One of the best things you can do is talk to them about what you see happening and that you are genuinely worried about them.
A Foundational Bible Verse
Matthew 18:15-17 provides the way to keep one another accountable. This verse is more applicable in church discipline, but can work in almost any situation. Below is the verse, then I will break it down.
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”
This verse is broken down into four steps:
- Tell the person
- Get a few people to join you if they don’t listen
- Tell the church (if they are Christian)
- If they still don’t listen, the burden is no longer yours
How this works in real life
Regardless of the person’s Christianity, the first step, as the Bible states, is to always talk to them about what is going on and the negative life choices they are making. Do not put vague posts on social media. Do not go to a bunch of other people. Talk to the person directly. Let them know what you are noticing and see if there are deeper issues going on.
If you find out they are starting to engage in behaviors that are going to lead them down a path of destruction, try to tell them that. They may not want to hear it, but it is the loving thing to do.
Next, if they do not listen to you, then, as the Bible says, take some other people who also care about this person and try to talk to them. Maybe if they know that more people see this behavior than just you, they will listen. Unfortunately, however, sometimes they don’t.
After this, if the person is a Christian, tell someone in the church and let spiritually mature people try and get through to them. If none of this works, then it is obviously the person does not want to make a change, and you have exhausted your options.
As a final step, never stop praying that the person’s eyes will be opened even if they do not listen to you.
A final note & closing
A verse that is very close to my heart and actually continues to spur me on in this ministry is Hosea 4:6 which has these two lines in it, “My people are destroyed by lack of knowledge.“
In situations where negative life choices are being made, I see it as a mandate to tell people that certain behaviors will destroy their lives or relationships. Sometimes, maybe they genuinely don’t know. If I tell them and they reject me, then I can leave knowing that at least now, they know, and I will have an open door should they ever heed the conviction of the Holy Spirit.
Situations like these are never pleasant, and I pray that whatever is going on that brought you to this post, can be resolved quickly and with love.
Until next time,
-Sarah
More about our Ministry
At Transformed4More, our goal is to help those who want to grow in their relationship with God, and we do this in two main ways:
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